ZFL

you can expect a little of this:



And a little of this:

Stallworth to the Eagles. Can he suck as much in Philadelphia as he did in New Orleans?

Kerry Collins signs with the Titans.

This may or may not be true, but I heard that T.O. is sandbagging to drop his fantasy stock so a "very good" friend of his, possibly a lover, can grab him late in the 2nd round.

The Hebrew Funky are the first ZFL franchise to pay their 2006 league fee. The league office received the Funky's payment of $105 on Thursday, which means the team will start the season with 22 player pick-ups. To the rest of you, the ZFL has this to say: Get on it, you lazy gentiles (and Hart)!

The Madden Curse. Is it real or is it a repeating coincidence? That is something Evil Twin owner Jeff Alton must decide when he looks at Shaun Alexander as a possible No. 1 pick overall. Here are the coverboys for Madden and what the curse did, or didn't, do to them.

Madden 2000 (1999 release) featured Barry Sanders, who abruptly retired during training camp in 1999. An update was then put out with Dorsey Levens, who was cut by the Packers in 2001 and finished his career as a journeyman player.

Madden 2001 (2000 release) featured Eddie George, who did have a good year, but he did lose a key fumble in a playoff game against the Ravens.

Madden 2002 (2001 release) featured Daunte Culpepper, who missed 5 games with an injury. The Vikes missed the playoffs.

Madden 2003 (2002 release) featured Marshall Faulk, who was injured and suffered his least productive season as a Ram up to that point. The Rams missed the playoffs after making it to the Super Bowl the previous year.

Madden 2004 (2003 release) featured Michael Vick, who missed 11 games after breaking his leg during the preseason.

Madden 2005 (2004 release) featured Ray Lewis who had a down year statistically, and saw his Ravens miss the playoffs.

Madden 2006 (2005 release) featured Donovan McNabb, who suffered through hernia pain before missing 7 games. The Eagles missed the playoffs after getting to the Super Bowl the year before.

Madden 2007 (2006 release) features Shaun Alexander...

The season quickly approaches. If you're planning to unveil a new team name for the 2006 season, get on it. Two things to keep in mind: 1. Mike Ward will judge the name you come up with; 2. If you're planning to win a championship, keep in mind that the max characters for a team name on the ZFL ring is 12.

T.J. Duckett to the Redskins; Ashley Lelie to the Falcons

This is puzzling, especially if you happen to be drafting in the 5th to 8th pick range of the first round and were considering Edge. In Monday night's Fantasy Draft on ESPN featuring 8 on-air personalities, Edge went 14th overall, the 12th RB taken. Why so late? Do they know something you don't? Should you take a dinged up Portis instead?

NOTE: This post is intended mostly to mess with Ward's head.

This league just keeps getting better and better.

The fees for the 2006 ZFL season will be as follows:

Two choices...
Pay $100 and get 15 free player adds
Pay $105 and get 20 free player adds

If I receive your check before the NFL's opening weekend concludes, you will receive an additional 2 free player pick-ups.

After your free pick-ups are exhausted, each player added will cost you $2.50.

Additionally, the last place team will pay a quarter-of-a-hundred dollar ($25) "I SUCK" penalty to the first place team.

For league mailing address, see our league homepage on ESPN.com.

Best rumor we've heard of late: Troy's Evil Twin are considering a team name change. The new name? Getmy Goose-on. It very well might be Maurice's last connection to the football world.

I guess we know who the CU Condors won't be drafting with the 4th pick in the upcoming ZFL Draft: China Doll - 1 preseason series, 1 separated shoulder.

The top ten picks of the 2005 ZFL Draft:

01. LT
02. Alexander
03. Priest
04. Edge
05. McGahee
06. Jamal Lewis
07. McAllister
08. Manning
09. Dillon
10. Dom. Davis

You can view the entire 2005 ZFL Draft here:
http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/tools/draftrecap?leagueId=48921

If you aren't already an ESPN Insider, you can get a free 2-month trial subscribtion by going to ESPN.COM/FFLINSIDER and entering promo code LMKOFRZH. Enjoy, bitches.

ESPN had the schedule set the same as last year, so I randomized it to give it that oh-so-fresh feeling.

WEEK 1 Match-ups:

Condors vs. Kim Jong-Il
Evil Twin vs. Not Gay
Nuff vs. Wood
Kanyes vs. Hambassadors
Funky vs. Hell

Last season's draft order and eventual finishes:

01. EAST COAST UNITED (6th)
02. GUILD NAVIGATORS (3rd)
03. NUFF (9th)
04. WOOD (5th)
05. KANYES (7th)
06. STEAM (10th)
07. HAMBASSADORS (8th)
08. FUNKY (2nd)
09. NOT GAY (1st)
10. RED SAC (4th)

01. EVIL TWIN (ALTON)
02. WOOD (ROBIN)
03. NUFF (SOBIER)
04. CONDORS (TROY)
05. IL (WARD)
06. FUNKY (BLOOM)
07. NOT GAY (HART)
08. HAMMBASSADORS
09. KANYES (MIGUEL)
10. EAST COAST (JEREMY)